Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Nose Bleed Sex [Warning: TMI]

Too Much Information! Adult Content! Beware!

There is a topic that I have been omitting recently: Sex.

I'm dating someone.

There are several reasons to give pause and hesitancy to this relationship. However, they are all Completely, Utterly and Totally Destroyed by the fact that the sex so far is abso-fucking-lutely Amazing.

Last night we had 'nose bleed' sex. A handful of times in my life, mere minutes after really good, strenuous, vigorous, extended sex, I have randomly started bleeding: the needle site from donating blood earlier in the day re-opens, a cut that was healing spontaneously begins bleeding, a couple of nosebleeds, and once a blood vessel in my eye popped. This is totally gross and weird. Since I'm not a doctor I can't explain it, but I suspect it has something to do with heart rate, increased blood pressure and muscles pinching off and later releasing blood vessels. I bruise really easily and bleed really quickly during donations, so I already suspect my blood is thin and flows quickly.

Anyway, last night we were cooling down from another mind-blowing, exhausting, sweaty sex session, when my nose started bleeding. It has been years since this happened and I had completely forgotten about this quirk of my body. Not only was he not weirded out by my nose bleed, but again acted sort of proud once I explained it.

So far he is as perfect a sex partner as I could wish for. He is completely uninhibited and seems to enjoy my pleasure as much, or even more than I do. He lets me writhe wantonly atop him seemingly forever until I am exhausted and worn out. Instead of being disgusted by the heat radiating off of me and the sweat that soon slicks my body and hair, he seems to take pride in it. He follows my lead like a champ, but also controls and moves my body like he has trained for it. After we both catch our breath, cool down and re-hydrate, Round Two is the rule rather than the exception. GodDamn.

In the day following our nights together my body is trashed and exhausted. All the muscles in my body are weak and sore. The commute to work requires effort and perserverance -- and I hope for red lights so I can rest. I get passed constantly, and my typical competitiveness doesn’t even blink. Wonderfully pathetic. My hip flexor muscles are nothing but pulverized goo; my quads and ass feel deep-down sore –as if I raced hard in the drops yesterday; arms, shoulders and back give me the impression that I went weightlifting; muscles in my feet are even sore; my head feels too heavy atop my noodly neck, and; my abs and the muscles between my ribs are tender and cause wincing pain with every laugh or deep breath. Basically, I am a wreck and my muscular body is replaced with jello.

I am also completely ravenous the following day. I think sex depletes my glycogen stores completely and I need to seriously refuel. I probably eat twice as much as I do on a normal day, and yet I still feel famished.

Despite my weak, sore, useless body, I am content as a kitten sleeping in the sun.

This is shaping up to be a great summer.

Sorry for the TMI – I hope everyone enjoys great sex, too!


At 3:56 PM, Blogger George said...


Maybe if your glycogen levels get to low you can have some Powerbars or Gatorade next to your bed.

I'm sure your partner will understand:-)

At 1:48 PM, Blogger Gilby said...

Energy gels in the goody drawer!

At 2:22 PM, Blogger jojo said...

George and Gilby:

Marketing Geniuses! A whole new market for Cliff/Gatorade/Powerbar just opened up!

Can I get sponsored?


Gilby: Are you in Mpls the second weekend in July when I'm visiting?

At 8:05 PM, Blogger Gilby said...

Yup, I'll be here!

At 7:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


I'm terrified.

At 8:37 PM, Blogger OM said...

Good story: not a bad idea to check in with your physician. Sorry to dry up a good story....but good to see if there are any bleeding issues that you should know about. Nosebleeds during sex may be due to the rosenmuller fossa part of the nose but it sounds like this may be a general bleeding issue....or it may be nothing and just a story!


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