Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Let Craziness Flow Freely

My boss was on one of his rampage days again. Such a g-damn pain. All of the Associate attorneys and at least one of the partners have decided to look for new work, along with half of the paralegals. Yeah, morale is great around here.

In his classic freak-out, speak-before-thinking-style, the boss decided that I will take the most important deposition for one of our files. Great...... I'll be deposing a head partner at a big lawfirm, whose name made another partner here shudder in fear. Even Better. Best though, is my boss directing us to both: not spend too much time on the file AND make sure I know the material backwards and forwards so we can do several mock depositions.

These two ideas are completely incompatible. I am a new attorney, and therefore I will need a ton more time to prepare for any deposition than my boss does--he can take a deposition in his sleep. Secondly, if he is going to spend the time to review the materials in order to give me realistic mock interviews, then it would be much easier for him to take the dep himself. Stupid ADHD.

If I was the client I would freak out to learn that an attorney with less than one years experience was going to depose the most important witness in her case. Seriously, this is damn-near malpractice. Guess what I will be doing for the next two weeks? Guess whose boss will bitch and moan that I am spending too much time on this case (the client won't be able to pay the whole bill)? There is absolutely no way to win with his directives.

Fuck it though--it's his firm. If he wants to manage it into the ground, I really don't care. Either I'll get a new job before the firm folds, he'll pull his head out of his ass, or the firm will fold and I'll go on a little vacation sponsored by unemployment insurance.

To answer Frick's previous question: My boss is actually a great lawyer when he is focused and he is pretty prestigious in some Chicago legal circles. However good attorneys do not necessarily make good managers--and that is where our problem lies.

I'm going home to make coconut ice cream or flan for a dinner party tomorrow night. Work Blows.


At 11:10 PM, Blogger Frick said...

It sounds like you need to have an intervention. Write a memo to him explaining how things are. Step up if the other partners don't have the balls. Show pictures if necessary, with a flow chart that shows him yelling, attorneys getting mad, nothing getting done, and the firm closing. If he fires you, then you can start your unemployment vacation early. Maybe plan it right before labor day, to hit up burning man.

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