Friday, May 13, 2005

My Birthday (whiny)

I turned 28 on Thursday. My birthday generally makes me feel uneasy, because it usually sucks. Starting in junior high school my birthday was celebrated with my friends at my dear friend Stephanie’s birthday party a few days later. It was just sort of an add-on celebration, which was fine but always a little weird. Then when we went to college, my b-day was always overshadowed by two events: Mother’s Day weekend and Final Exams. Friends were either out of town for M-day, or freaked out about finals and not able to visit or go out. Bummer.

Anyway, I developed this weirdness about my birthday, because it was always disappointing. None of my attempts to deal with it worked well. When I tried to ignore it, I was later ‘scolded’ by friends for not planning anything–and felt crummy for being lame. However, when I have tried to plan an event, it usually turned out pretty lame, anyways. So the weirdness continued.

This year I invited friends to come drink with me at the H-bar last night, and have also invited people to a party at my house on Saturday night.

On Wednesday night I baked cookies to bring into work and the CBF office the night before. On the way to the store I saw a small envelope addressed to me. It was a b-day message from big brother, with a great present inside--a bracelet mocking the LiveStrong charity bracelets: "LIVEWRONG" on black rubber. Sweet. I also appreciated that the message was typed on his antique typewriter on the back of scrap paper. Thanks! My roommates were excited about my birthday and sang to me at Midnight. I felt hope that this birthday wouldn’t be lame.

My actual b-day gave me negative signs and indicated that this was going to be another lame year, and I actually started getting angry. At work I sent out a message that there were b-day cookies for everyone. Most of the support staff thanked me and wished me a happy b-day, but almost none of the other attorneys did–including Gabe, a supposed friend from law school. WTF?!

The court hearing that I was supposed to attend was canceled, and I found out after waiting at court for a while, so that was a waste of time. The trip itself was worthwhile though, because it was my first time riding the Julep in high-heeled work shoes. I was nervous about heel scraping on corners (since you can’t just coast through turns in the 3:9 position) but it worked fine. Plus every time I was locking-unlocking my bike I got surprised/approving looks from cute bike messenger boys–especially from the two also riding fixies. Tehehee.

Over lunch I had planned to attend a CBF lecture which I have been looking forward to for months. However, the stars aligned so that an attorney who I have been trying to get documents from for weeks finally dropped by the office minutes before I planned to leave, and ruined my ability to attend the lecture. Happy fucking birthday.

Very few friends sent me b-day greetings during the day–generally to tell me that they were out of town for the party on Saturday. Plus I started getting nervous about whether many people would attend my b-day party on Saturday. I’ve noticed something interesting about people who RSVP to events: Most of my supposedly closest ‘friends’ (law school) rarely respond to invites, regardless of whether they attend or not. However, bikey friends and acquaintances, many whom I don’t know very well and most who I’ve known for less than a year, are very good about replying. This seems backwards to me.

Anyway, my spirits were low when I arrived at the h-bar and I was expecting lameness. However, upon walking in, cries of ‘happy b-day’ filled the air from the other owners and a few other bikey people. Throughout the night bikey people came in to wish me well. Several of them had heard word-of-mouth and stopped by even without an invite. Also it seems that most of them are also planning on attending the party on Saturday. Cool.

Isaac was the only law school friend who showed up--and he actually mingled with bikey people pretty well. He is often shy and awkward around too many strangers, so this was very good of him and I was impressed. Overall, the night was very nice, and I didn’t wake up too hung over this morning. Still, I can’t help but feel annoyance at the law school ‘friends’ as a group, though. Proof again, that bikey people overall are far cooler than lawyers. Last weekend the lawyer friends seemed really excited about my party on Saturday–so hopefully they are still planning on attending. I’m really interested in bringing my bikey and attorney friends together to see the dynamic–but so far my attempts have been thwarted. Hopefully Saturday will bring together this elusive mix. Maybe there could even be some biker/lawyer hook-ups.........

Anyway, I’m going to step down from this self-centered, whiney perch and actually get some work done today. Despite the law friends disappointment, yesterday ranks as one of my best birthdays in many years. I joyfully leave behind my yucky mid-twenties and enter my late twenties with high expectations.


At 2:31 PM, Blogger Frick said...

You're birthday experiences basically allign exactly with mine. My birthday always fell on Spring Football weekend, which is a weekend in which there's various band functions going on all weekend long. This also happened to be the time when final projects and final midterms were taking place, so everyone was really busy, and planning was essentially impossible. Of course, everyone is always, like "oh, why didn't you say it was your birthday." Of course, add in the fact we stopped celebrating birthdays in my family when I was about 10 yrs old, and that adds to the lack of birthday nostaglia.

At 6:16 PM, Blogger equipoise said...

jojo, hate to break it to you, but you've been in your late 20's for over a year now. Ha ha. Happy Bday!


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