Monday, March 07, 2005

Crazy world of Litigation--Part II

Tomorrow I have to argue a motion. Once again, it isn't a case that I work on--I'm just filling in because the other attorneys on the file are busy. Fuckity fuc fuk fuck.

I hate courtrooms. I hate judges. I hate opposing counsel. I hate walking into an extremely complex case and having to confidently assert things that I haven't researched myself. Most of all--I really, really, really hate knowing that it is not just my ass that might suffer if screw this up, but that a client depends on me.

Co-worker EM and my partner are both clued into my biggest weakness in this situation: my irreverent flippant manner. After my past appearance when I was scolded by a judge and responded in a less than deferential manner, EM declared that I have the 'biggest balls in the firm' and that if I keep it up I will get slapped with a contempt of court charge. I just can't understand why I'm being sent in there so unprepared. As long as everyone sticks to the script I will be fine, but if I am thrown any unexpected question--I'm going to mentally go 'deer in headlights.' I simply can't get up to speed on three years of litigation, four parties, several conflicting statutes and mounds of motions, orders and case law. Plus, I'm not supposed to spend too much time preparing for this either, because it is a waste of money/time. Greeaat: "don't prepare but make sure you know what you are talking about."

So tomorrow is really going to suck, and the rest of the week won't be much better. I already know I will be super-wound-up after this appearance, regardless of how it turns out. However, I have an assload of work to do: I have another really stressful meeting in the afternoon, I have to research and write a motion to dismiss before Wednesday afternoon, I have to review an entire file to prepare for a Thursday meeting with a client and monitor another court proceeding. Most of this wasn't expected, and I still have all of the other work I need to finish. Basically I need to grind out a ton of work this week.

Oh yeah, plus I am supposed to plan/manage a parade float and start moving my apartment, too. I also feel the impending horror of laundry creeping up on me. At least having to wear suits most of the week will help stay laundry a little longer.

End rant.

On a more positive note, the weather was still gorgeous this morning, so I rode without a jacket and just my skirt, boots and shirt. I love feeling the air on my skin and it was a great way to start the work week. Plus I got to witness a total jackass van driver. He jackrabbited constantly and at almost every intersection pulled up to the right/turning lane to squeal his tires to jump ahead of the pack. Dumbass--I kept up with him for about two miles until we parted ways in downtown. I wonder if he realized that even with all of his jackass manueverings he still drove only as fast a girl on a bike. Probably not, but at least it was fun for me.


At 10:41 AM, Anonymous Jim said...

Don't worry about those persnickety judges. All the best litigators get charged with contempt of court all the time. I'm referring specifically to Vincent LaGuardia Gambini. If he could win that impossible case while smartassing Herman Munster in backwards Alabama, you should have no problems with the less scary judges in Chicago courtrooms.


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