Tuesday, December 28, 2004

The steep descent into slackerdom

Work is making me itchy and antsy lately. Unrelated forces collided to crush my productivity while my motivation seeps through the gaps.
  • I am not under a heavy deadline, so I don't have the additional adrenaline boost created by fear and panic to push me along.
  • My new office is in a much more populated area, so there are a lot more distractions,
  • The holidays have stolen a lot of structure--people are on vacation, we have lunch events, the weeks are shorter, offices are closed and people I need to speak with are gone,
  • I am assigned to a hydra of a research project. The issues are actually interesting, but the more I research the more questions I have, and my sword becomes heavy and duller as the battle wages, and
  • Sadly, since I was given my bonus and raise, the incentive to be a productive, team-playing, worker bee has completely disappeared.
I wish I was enjoying this lazy descent, but it feels crappy. My days seem to last forever instead of speeding by in a blur, and I can't quell the nagging guilt that I feel for being so unproductive. Blech. Friday is New Year's Eve--so my week is half gone and apparently the office will be empty on Thursday. I fully expect that I will continue to slack for the rest of the week/month/year--and hopefully hit the ground running again in 2005. These past two workdays have exhausted me and I really don't want to do the next two. I am seriously considering taking a long 'lunch' by going to the gym midday--just to feel somewhat productive and kill time. It is damn near useless for me to be at work when I have this little motivation.


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