Saturday, December 11, 2004

Quit Humping my Leg

Tana arranged a dance excursion tonight at 'The Apartment.' It boasted a crowed dance floor and generic hip-hop music. Not really my thing, but I do like to dance (poorly). The boys on the dance floor really piss me off. Where do they get the idea that they should go up behind a girl dancing with her friends and grind their crotches against her ass? I don't mean to be a prude, but I find it really gross and creepy. Even assuming this is appropriate behavior--what is the deal with continuing to dance with a woman when she has made it clear that she isn't interested? This stuff really frustrates me because it is so rude--and yet so commonplace. I don't think I can count the number of times tonight that I felt a strange man's crotch against my ass, or hands from behind grabbing my hips. These are men who I haven't even seen their faces, much less made eye contact with. Plus there are all of the other guys who at least try to dance with you face to face, but don't get the hint when women move away. Oh yeah--I also don't understand the way that a guy, after being blatantly rejected by several women in a group will continue to try to dance with the group or other individual women--get a clue or some pride, preferably both.

I feel strong urges to become physically violent when I feel like a man is disrespecting me. I have fantasies of actually spilling blood on the dance floor: punching a guy in the face, slamming my elbow into his nose, bending his finger back to make him kneel and beg, violently pushing a guy away and hopefully making him fall are all deliciously appealing thoughts. However, since I don't want to get arrested or sued, I refrain from acting on these tantalizing, satisfying ideas. Instead several times I grabbed mens' hands from my hips and firmly removed them while giving them a dirty look. Sometimes this worked, and other times it didn't. If I wanted to get my leg humped I'd get a dog or ride the El--paying cover isn't necessary.

The lawyer in me does have to wonder if I struck a man for intimately touching me, how would the law react? Would a battery charge be upheld? What about a civil suit? Obviously my defense would be that I was protecting myself from further sexual assault (unwanted sexual contact--genitals to ass. I think the technical term is frotteurism. Even though I definitely feel women would be justified in striking back--I don't know that a court would agree (especially a male judge). Evidence about the typical behavior in clubs would be introduced, and basically a version of blaming rape on the victim's suggestive clothes would be developed. "you were wearing tight pants, heels and a skimpy top while moving your body suggestively?--well then, what did you expect?" "that basic decency and bodily integrity not be sacrificed because dancing is fun." Oh well, maybe I will do a Lexis search at work next week.





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