Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Introductions are in Order

My older brother suggested that each of keep a blog to better keep in touch with one another. It seems like a good way to vent and contemplate, plus I adore my brothers, so I'll give it a shot.

Recently my life has been a series of fissures. I moved away from the co-op I lived in for three years and into a neighborhood on the other side of Chicago. The people with whom I had been so intimate and were such a huge part of my life I now struggle to keep in touch with.

The upside was supposed to be that I would live in a great social environment with two of my friends from law school. This worked really well until one roommate hooked up with the other's girl--oops. So now they are barely speaking. The tremors are being felt throughout the friend group and because of my refusal to takes sides, I have found myself an outsider. Yes, welcome to junior high. So my super-fantastic living situation has turned into the Den of Awkwardness.

Very recently, I got dumped in a relationship sequel. The whole relationship was almost a rerun of last year, but the breakup scenario was too damn similar: same boy, same reason, same set-up. Plus my friends pretty much had the same reaction: Good. He wasn't well-liked and will not be missed by any of my friends. I anticipate a chorus of "I told you so" in the upcoming days.

My final fissure is a mostly good thing: My disconnect with free time. I was unemployed for a year after graduation and now am finally working again. It feels great! I have paychecks, health insurance and don't feel like a worthless loser anymore. However, I work a lot and am finding it hard to strike a balance between the different aspects of my life. I have gone from unemployed to workaholic. Coming home to the den of awkwardness doesn't really motivate me to get out of the office early at night.

I am going to get more involved with the bikey people again and that should perk me up. Many of my law friends are super-busy, lazy, drunk or a combination. The bikey people are busy too, but in active ways. They manage to organize events, advocate, work and have social lives. This is my goal and they are great motivation--in addition to being great people. Additionally, the legal market seems to be improving, so hopefully in a few months I can try to get a job I really enjoy--that pays more or has better hours, preferably both. If that happens then I'll be in a much better position to make my life look more how I want it to.

So that's the background of what is happening in my life. It's more negative than I usually am, but I'm not feeling my normal happy self lately.

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